Oh NO! What Happened to SoHO!?!

My roommates wanted to go for a drink and I did not. My father has been joking with me since I got food poisoning this past weekend that I really had the brown bottle flu. I wanted a coffee, so we walked around Soho yesterday and it's cold and pouring rain. My roommates finally pick a bar, and we walk in and I immediately notice that we're the only girls and looking around... it was the biggest closet gays in one section that I have ever seen and I mean like the football jocks hiding that they are gay. I start laughing and I mean really laughing and I look at one of our guy friends and he knew exactly what I was thinking. One of my roommates was upset, because I did not want a beer, which I already established, so I told them I'd leave them here while I went across the street to get a coffee. As I get to "Costa" which is a competitive coffee store to Starbucks in the area, I get a call from my other guy roommate asking where we were, and knowing how he is, I laugh on the phone and say, "If you're craving a cosmo, they are in a bar called Admiral Beacon, and if you bend over, you'll get a great tip if you catch my drift." He told me he'd come over later. So, I get my coffee, and a chocolate/caramel shortbread and sit outside under a canopy at this coffee shop in the rain and I look around. We already passed an alley way of "I'll make you feel better" spas and strip clubs with Armenian men smoking outside, but on this corner, this corner was exquisite. Directly across from me was a clothing store and a Vietnamese restaurant called, "Nam." (Leave your Agent Orange and war jokes at the door, please.) But.... at the street perpendicular, was the gay bar next to a clothing store with a sex store in the basement that was so commercialized in neon in the window, and a bar entitled "G-A-Y" with "Jersey Boys" (The Musical) at the end of the street. So, as I drank my coffee, I watched the men outside at the coffee shop and skyped with my sister and Larry on my iphone showing the streets of London and laughing my ass off. So now, I call London's SOHO, "Pimp, Pimp, Cheerio!"